Raising Children

Make Faith, Hope, Love and Family the center of your lives.

Agree on how you want to raise your children; agree on what you consider good expected behaviors and reinforce that understanding through consistent communication and expectations.

Focus on a few overarching concepts like “respect” and “responsibility.” Agree on what they mean for the family and live by them. If you get the “big rocks” right, the little pebbles fall into place.

Always honor and respect each other and teach children to do the same. Family traditions and rituals like date nights, birthdays celebrations, anniversaries, church attendance, Easter, Christmas and special acknowledgments help frame this behavior and allow it to spill over into everyday living.

Do not send mixed signals to children. They should not be allowed to play one parent against the other. Children should expect that parents will agree on decisions. To deal with “grey and new areas” that crop up, delay a decision until you have had the opportunity to discuss and agree upon a response.

Always try to explain the rationale behind your expectations and rules. Try not to frustrate your children by cutting them off, refusing to listen to them, or by not being willing to provide reasonable answers to questions.

Try to keep emotions in check when disciplining children. While it is occasionally useful for your child to experience your displeasure and anger through your raised voice, use that voice sparingly so your child understands that when you do it, the situation warrants it. Most of the time, be firm but in control when disciplining.

Finally, the development of good habits takes time, effort and consistency. Over time, in the long run, your lived values and expectations will bear fruit.

Quote: Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. (Robert Fulghum)

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Author: educhirp

Retired educator on a leisure journey.