Uncategorized – Educhirp

Raising Children

Make Faith, Hope, Love and Family the center of your lives.

Agree on how you want to raise your children; agree on what you consider good expected behaviors and reinforce that understanding through consistent communication and expectations.

Focus on a few overarching concepts like “respect” and “responsibility.” Agree on what they mean for the family and live by them. If you get the “big rocks” right, the little pebbles fall into place.

Always honor and respect each other and teach children to do the same. Family traditions and rituals like date nights, birthdays celebrations, anniversaries, church attendance, Easter, Christmas and special acknowledgments help frame this behavior and allow it to spill over into everyday living.

Do not send mixed signals to children. They should not be allowed to play one parent against the other. Children should expect that parents will agree on decisions. To deal with “grey and new areas” that crop up, delay a decision until you have had the opportunity to discuss and agree upon a response.

Always try to explain the rationale behind your expectations and rules. Try not to frustrate your children by cutting them off, refusing to listen to them, or by not being willing to provide reasonable answers to questions.

Try to keep emotions in check when disciplining children. While it is occasionally useful for your child to experience your displeasure and anger through your raised voice, use that voice sparingly so your child understands that when you do it, the situation warrants it. Most of the time, be firm but in control when disciplining.

Finally, the development of good habits takes time, effort and consistency. Over time, in the long run, your lived values and expectations will bear fruit.

Quote: Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. (Robert Fulghum)

My First Job

My first real job in 1970 was as a technical sales representative for a welding products company. It had a number of satisfying components to it. It required a knowledge of welding and metallurgy and had a continuous learning aspect to it. Its problem solving and creative elements made it challenging and exciting. It provided independence and job satisfaction. Remuneration was fair with potential for higher earnings tied to performance.

The job was to advise and sell customers on the idea of using the company’s products for preventive maintenance. Long before the green revolution, we were persuading customers to save money by embarking on a repair and maintenance program. In simple terms, they could at a fraction of the cost of a new part, repair or extend its service life. I had good products and the service I provided was needed and welcomed.

The other satisfying aspect was the independence I had in planning and managing my territory. I was solely responsible for how successful I was. My supervisor was there to help when needed and we periodically agreed on a fair territorial sales target. Most of the time I had supervisors who did not push for unreasonable performance, so it was always possible to meet expectations.

I enjoyed this job because of the control it gave me. Everything else being equal, it depended on me alone. Later, when I was promoted to the managerial ranks, my performance depended on how well I could help people give and do their best.

This first job taught me a valuable lesson. It helped me create the proper and necessary work environment for individuals I supervised. Competent people just need a clear brief and clear expectations. They then need to be supported and allowed to perform and grow with minimal supervision and interference.

Ten Books

During this time when we have a lot more time on our hands, it may be useful to read or re-read some books. Reading has helped me grow personally, spiritually and professionally. Here is a list of ten that can change the way we see, think and act. The books all have a common theme. They focus on man and his relationship with God, his neighbor, and his environment.

The Holy Bible – To be read with the eyes of faith and love and the critical lens of time and culture. This just happens to be from my Faith tradition. I encourage those from other Faith traditions to read from their own book in the same way. I do believe God is beyond traditions and boundaries and speaks the language of Love to all. Love is my test for Truth when reading the Holy Books.

Ghandi, an Autobiography Mohandas Ghandi – The story of a man worth reading about.

The Long Loneliness by Dorothy Day – The story of a woman worth reading about.

The Phenomenon of Man by Teilhard De Chardin – Probably the most technically difficult book to read in the list. A great book for the scientist, philosopher and open minded.

Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl – Frankl’s experience in Nazi concentration camps and how he was able to transcend the horrors of the experience.

Mere Christianity by C.S Lewis – Lewis’s very readable book on the the basic tenets of the Christian faith and the ethics Christians should live by.

The Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton – This is the story of Merton’s conversion and faith journey, sometimes compared to that of St. Augustine of Hippo.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – A gem of a book on fostering proper interactions and relationships.

Small is Beautiful by E.F. Schumacher – This is subtitled “a study of economics as if people mattered.” First published in 1973, it is still an important and timeless read.

Educating for Character by Thomas Lickona – The guide to being an educator who believes education is about having children learn to be both “smart and good.”

Quote: Clearly one must read every good book at least once every ten years. (C.S. Lewis)

Summer Travel 2019 – Kuala Lumpur (Days: July 4 – 9)

Kuala Lumpur (KL), the capital of Malaysia is where I lived and worked from 1970 to 1975. The city today, especially the roads and buildings, are practically unrecognizable. Difficult to imagine that during the 70’s I was able to drive anywhere in and around the city without a GPS.

We flew Air Asia from Kota Kinabalu to Kuala Lumur on July 4. I was fortunate to catch my brother Miles at the airport. He was transiting to Seoul, Korea. We only had about half an hour between our arrival and his flight, but is was great seeing and catching up with him.

On this visit to KL we stayed with two former classmates who were very gracious hosts. As usual, we were able to connect with still more classmates and have an excuse for a “makan” (meal) – not that we would ever need an excuse to sample the local fare. We also visited the Coliseum restaurant on old Batu road that used to be a Peace Corps favorite and one of Rhonda’s and mine as well.

Dinner at the Golf Club

The Coliseum Restaurant

In front of the Coliseum

Peranakan food with classmates

The traffic in KL is heavy and the extensive light rail transport system is a much easier and comfortable way to travel around the city. We made our way to KL Sentral and took in the Twin Towers and walked through a couple of truly massive shopping malls.

Riding the LRY

Growth Mindset message on LRT station steps

The Twin Towers

Crowded mall

Mall

We tried to find an old seafood restaurant by Carey Island (close to Klang) that we used to visit regularly in the seventies. Our friends were kind enough to indulge us to look for the place. The restaurant is no longer there, but we found one close to Carey Island that has replaced it.

Sea Food Restaurant near Carey Island

By the beach near Carey Island

One afternoon, we also took the opportunity to walk through the Botanical Gardens and visit the Butterfly Farm, which boasts many species of butterflies.

We had seen many of our old familiars (the Selangor Club, The Ship, The old Railway Station, The KL Market, etc) on a previous visit so were quite content during this visit to simply relax and catch up with old friends.

On Turning 70

Today I turned 70. Wow! How did that happen? As I reflect on this milestone, I have to look back and thank God for my many blessings. I am particularly thankful for,

the gift of my Catholic Faith and Jesus my Lord and Savior who has been my rock in good as well as challenging times.
my parents Rachel and Felix, who through their love and example largely formed who I am.
my beloved family: my wife Rhonda; children Ryan and Camille; daughter-in-law Amber; and grandchildren Annabelle, Asher and Rowan, all of whom make my life so much richer.
my siblings Miles, Charles, Anne, Bernadette (who is with God) and their families, who though physically far away, always remain close in thought and prayer.
relatives and friends from around the world who have touched and continue to touch my life.
the gift and opportunities for service and work that offered so many experiences, learning, and the necessary remuneration for sustenance over the past fifty years.
my places of work and service and work colleagues at the following places: The Government English Primary School, Port Dickson, Malaysia; James Warren & Company (later Scott & English), Malaysia; Perma Inc. in both the Philippines and Indonesia; PT Sande Jaya, Indonesia; The American College, Singapore; North Country School, Lake Placid, NY; The American Community School, Amman, Jordan; Canadian Academy, Kobe, Japan; Christ the King Catholic School, Tampa, Florida; and, Tampa Catholic High School, Tampa, Florida.
my education that enables me to think for myself and test ideas and philosophies for truth and meaning.
the schools that I have been privileged to attend and the teachers and fellow students who contributed to my education: St. Anthony’s, Teluk Anson, Malaysia; La Salle, Klang, Malaysia; De La Salle, Singapore; St. Joseph’s Institution, Singapore; Government English Secondary School, Port Dickson, Malaysia; Technical College, Malaysia; Durham University, England; and the many conferences and workshops that I have been privileged to attend throughout the years.
students, teachers and administrators who have shared my journey as an educator over the past thirty years.
the opportunities to travel extensively and experience other cultures and learn from them. I visited cities in Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, the Philippines, Indonesia, Vietnam, China, Hong Kong, Cambodia, India, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Japan, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Holland, England, Italy, Ireland, France, Switzerland, Germany, Greece, Slovakia, Russia, Hungary, Ukraine, Israel, Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, Bahrain, United Arab Emirates, Turkey, Egypt, Mexico, Honduras, the Bahamas, Belize, and almost all of the states in the US.
my health. I am particularly thankful for my wake-up triple by-pass in January 2008 which led me to adopt better health habits of mind, body and spirit. I realize that while I rest my life in the will of God, it remains my responsibility to do my part to keep healthy. I pray that God will grant me continued good health in my coming years.
my now retirement, with time for family, leisure, continued learning, and, whatever else the future may hold.

I give thanks.

Some Work Advice

I shall define work as a service rendered in exchange for a determined remuneration. For most of us this would describe the work we do or the job attached to a career. For some situations, it applies to volunteerism where the “remuneration” is non-monetary . The advice below has the best interests of both the worker and the employer at heart.

1. Negotiate your remuneration at the start of the relationship and accept what you settle for. Be satisfied with what you negotiated for, even if you discover that others are getting more than you. The time to remedy that is at the end of the year or contract period. If you do not like the result of the negotiation, either accept it or make plans for a change. In any case, do not let the outcome impact your work or your attitude towards the company. A negative attitude or behavior will always hurt you rather than the company.

2. Always go the extra mile. This means, do what is expected of you and a little more. Develop the habit to learn and find ways to improve the quality of your service, even if your work situation is not the best. You are then continuing to help yourself as well as your employer. Do not watch the clock and/or shortchange your employer. You can still balance your life while making sure you give your employer his or her due. If you find you are unable to motivate yourself to offer your best, it is time to move on, but continue to contribute and be positive.

3. Never gossip in the workplace. If you are unable to say something to someone to their face, do not relate it to anyone else. You can be sure that anyone who gossips about someone else is doing the same about you behind your back. Before you share any news, make sure it passes this three question test: is it true? is it kind? is it necessary? If you disagree with something and feel strongly about it, say it in private to the person involved. They may not initially like it, but you will gain their respect and trust in the long run.

4. Whenever possible, associate yourself with work that adds value to people’s lives and the environment. This kind of work has a built in satisfaction that will improve your well being. However, all honest work is dignified and can be viewed through the lenses of meaning and contribution.

5. Treat everyone in the workplace with respect. Avoid cliques. Treat even the “lowest” level employee kindly and be present to them whenever your paths cross.

6. Be helpful whenever you believe someone needs it, even if it is outside your job description.

7. Each morning before going to work, be appreciative and thankful for the ability and opportunity to do the work you do.